With centuries of experience as a chaplain to Kings and peasants alike, our good Reverend now offereth unto thee his vast insights.

Prithee be assured that we will never publish thine email address or even use it except in correspondence to thy question;
Thou maist use an alias to protect thy privacy.


  1. Greetings Rev.

    I beg your wise words, when I doth enter the tavern after a hard days raping and pillaging around the forests of the vale I like to partake in many tankards of ale, much time is wasted making trips to the privvy so I ask would it be wrong to take my own bucket and slap the old chap out in the tavern or would this upset the wenches?


    Sir Beerman.

    • Sir Beerman,

      I rather fear alas, that thine enquiry doth overlook a matter of more profound importance than the frailty of bar wenches.

      While it is true that knights oft report that it would be better to sleep in the stable than to visit the dunn of their local tavern, there is also the small matter of drunken gait. That is to say that after several tankards of ale hath been quaffed, one is rather likely to add thine own misdemeanour to those vile porcelain halls.

      To wit, I would advise ye to take thy business to the appropriate stall, not only for the sake of thy local drinking tavern, but also to avoid making a privvy mess of thyself. Those few who would not pour disdain on thy manhood, would no doubt take offence at being accidentally poured a drop of Beerman Brew (or that they would not, thou would’st make good thine escape, for those are not maidens fair).

      Rev. Benjamin the Scribe

  2. Hi, I have something bothering me and am quite anxious about it. Last Sunday at church we were praying and I’m not sure why but I had a thought about someone speaking in tongues. The person says the same few words every Sunday its not even really a full sentence exactly the same every week. I shouldn’t think anything about it but last week in my mind i said to myself i don’t believe he is speaking in tongues and never really had another thought about it. It’s been nearly two weeks all of a sudden today I’m freaking out and my heads telling me i denied the Holy Spirit right in front of me he must be speaking in tongues he isn’t going to make it up. Even though I never spoke a word i don’t know whats going on and why I didn’t believe he was. It just keeps going around and around my head i don’t know how to defend myself and feel guilty especially who this person is. Please help me. Thanks. Jacob.

    • Dear Jacob,

      Thy concern, forsooth is no trifle. However, it may appease ye to consider that thine own relationship with the almighty is in no wise trivialised by those in thy vicinity.
      That is to say, despite how ye may feel towards thy brethren regarding certain issues, thou need’st not be so concerned by them as to thine own standing with God, who is just. Foorsooth He forgivest when there is contrition or mayhaps shall vindicate thy discernment in His own manner, but thy correctness in this judgement is of less concern than the matter of thine own heart. If thou fearest the betrayal of the Holy Spirit, I put it to ye that thou hast not, for those who covet evil thoughts have no fear of God.

      To the matter in question, I would offer that there are many who earnestly seek after the gifts of the spirit even whilst they are erstwhile unsuccessful or misguided. Whilst this is done in the company of their brethren who may encourage or correct them, this boldness is laudable even where it is misplaced.

      Rev. Benjamin, the Scribe

Forsooth, we shall see thee anon...